Average. The word hit me like a ton of bricks.
As I stared at the imperfect letters scrawled on the paper I found in Jack’s backpack, it hurt. The question on the worksheet said, “What’s one word that you might use to describe yourself?” And of all the words he could have chosen, he wrote “average.” I was crushed.
I immediately started questioning my parenting. What had we done? Why would he see himself as average?
As a parent, you see your child as so much more than just that. Smart, friendly, athletic… But not average. Never average.
From the time our kids are born, we start comparing them to all the other kids. From growth percentiles to standardized tests, we’re always looking for a comparison. I wonder if somehow we’re subconsciously looking for validation of our parenting skills in these comparisons. There’s no litmus test for child rearing. And just as we search for comparisons for our kids, we search for comparisons for ourselves too. We want to know how we measure up.
I decided to ask Jack about his answer on that worksheet. Without making a big deal about it, I asked him what he meant by average. He looked at me with an indubitable smile and said, “Dad. It just means normal. I just want to be normal.”
And there it was. While Heather and I had spent hours fretting over why he would ever think of himself as average, the truth is that he was just saying he was normal. Over the course of making our own comparisons, we allowed the word average to develop a negative connotation.
I looked at him, grinned, and said, “Dude, that’s perfect. And yes, you’re perfectly average.”
Folks, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, we make this parenting thing way too hard. I realized that Jack might not grow up to be that famous soccer player he has talked about. And I’m perfectly happy with that.
Stop obsessing over stuff. Life isn’t going to be perfect and you’re kid just might end up average. And that, my friends, is a perfectly wonderful, marvelous, amazing thing.
Nearly 8 years ago, I shared my mom’s recipe for a pretty Unconventional Banana Pudding. It’s a layered, uncooked variety that relies on boxed pudding mix, some whipped topping, and even throws in some mini marshmallows for good measure. It’s different for sure, but something that everyone always enjoys despite it’s unorthodox list of ingredients. It’s also super easy and perfect for potlucks. So when I was dreaming about a new twist on a traditional fluff recipe, this seemed like the perfect opportunity to take that recipe and make it even easier. The recipe is nearly the same, it’s just all stirred up into this sweet, delicious concoction that falls somewhere close to an ambrosia and banana pudding mash-up. It’s gotten rave reviews around here. I bet it will there too.
Potluck Banana Pudding Fluff
Ingredients
- 1 (5.1-ounce) package vanilla instant pudding mix
- 1 1/2 cups milk
- 3 bananas
- 1 tablespoon lemon juice
- 1 (16-ounce) container frozen whipped topping (Cool Whip), thawed
- 1 (10-ounce) package miniature marshmallows
- 1 (11 to 12-ounce) box vanilla wafers
Instructions
- In a large bowl, whisk together the pudding mix and milk until combined. Set aside to thicken.
- Peel and slice the bananas. Place them in a medium bowl and toss with the lemon juice to prevent browning.
- Fold the whipped topping into the pudding. Add the bananas, marshmallows, and vanilla wafers. Fold together. Serve immediately or refrigerate for a a few hours if you prefer softer cookies.
Stacey, I have no doubt that you and your family, like the recipes you share here, are far from what most people would define as “average”. To me you are a standout. I love your blog, and I love your recipes. Some I try, others not. But they are always interesting to read, and I pore over them, and they inspire me to try different things. So here, from another “average” person, is my thank you. Thanks for all you do. I appreciate it very much, as do many other “average”, everyday heroes! And I am definitely going to try your banana pudding fluff! I will make my own pudding from scratch, because of the dietary requirements in my house, but I won’t stray much more from your “average” recipe!
Thanks so much, Phyllis! I sure hope you’ll enjoy!!
Get behind me, Satan! I’m trying this tonight 🙂
Any child growing up in a loving, happy kitchen cannot fail to be *average*! Well done you.
Thanks so much, Susie!
Just found you hi from oklahoma.
Welcome!!
Boy, that Jack. He is one smart kid you can be proud of! I love this. Here we are, as parents and grandparents, only wanting the best for our kids and we can obsess and read more into things than are actually there sometimes. So this banana pudding fluff is a great sigh of relief at the end!
You’re so sweet! Thank you!
I’m not sure when ‘average’ became such a dirty word. Guess what, Average is great….it’s like your son said, normal. And ain’t a thing in the world wrong with being normal!
I couldn’t agree more! 🙂
I like the concept but I don’t like recipes that use processed packaged food as ingredients. If it’s not from scratch it’s not for me.
You probably won’t find much around these parts that suits your fancy then. We like quick and easy around here. “If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. –Carl Sagan”
OMG!! This is soooo yummy! We loved it. 🙂 I shared some w/my Mom and it was a big hit. She wants me to give her the recipe too. Thanks again for sharing it. Love your website and recipes.
Thanks, Tess! I’m so glad everyone enjoyed it!
Thanks for another good and easy recipe, Stacey. I enjoy your recipes and the stories you share with us all. You and your wife are definitely doing a great job as parents with Jack. 😊
Thanks so much, Diane!!!
I can’t wait to try this for a pot luck coming up! I may need to make two batches, one for them and one for my home. It looks delicious!
Hope you’ll enjoy!!
What about adding some crushed pineapple and coconut to your “fluff”? Love your sight!! Average is very, very good. Just ask any parent of a child with special needs.
I think that’s a great way to mix up the flavors!