
Average. The word hit me like a ton of bricks.
As I stared at the imperfect letters scrawled on the paper I found in Jack’s backpack, it hurt. The question on the worksheet said, “What’s one word that you might use to describe yourself?” And of all the words he could have chosen, he wrote “average.” I was crushed.
I immediately started questioning my parenting. What had we done? Why would he see himself as average?
As a parent, you see your child as so much more than just that. Smart, friendly, athletic… But not average. Never average.
From the time our kids are born, we start comparing them to all the other kids. From growth percentiles to standardized tests, we’re always looking for a comparison. I wonder if somehow we’re subconsciously looking for validation of our parenting skills in these comparisons. There’s no litmus test for child rearing. And just as we search for comparisons for our kids, we search for comparisons for ourselves too. We want to know how we measure up.
I decided to ask Jack about his answer on that worksheet. Without making a big deal about it, I asked him what he meant by average. He looked at me with an indubitable smile and said, “Dad. It just means normal. I just want to be normal.”
And there it was. While Heather and I had spent hours fretting over why he would ever think of himself as average, the truth is that he was just saying he was normal. Over the course of making our own comparisons, we allowed the word average to develop a negative connotation.
I looked at him, grinned, and said, “Dude, that’s perfect. And yes, you’re perfectly average.”
Folks, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, we make this parenting thing way too hard. I realized that Jack might not grow up to be that famous soccer player he has talked about. And I’m perfectly happy with that.
Stop obsessing over stuff. Life isn’t going to be perfect and you’re kid just might end up average. And that, my friends, is a perfectly wonderful, marvelous, amazing thing.
Nearly 8 years ago, I shared my mom’s recipe for a pretty Unconventional Banana Pudding. It’s a layered, uncooked variety that relies on boxed pudding mix, some whipped topping, and even throws in some mini marshmallows for good measure. It’s different for sure, but something that everyone always enjoys despite it’s unorthodox list of ingredients. It’s also super easy and perfect for potlucks. So when I was dreaming about a new twist on a traditional fluff recipe, this seemed like the perfect opportunity to take that recipe and make it even easier. The recipe is nearly the same, it’s just all stirred up into this sweet, delicious concoction that falls somewhere close to an ambrosia and banana pudding mash-up. It’s gotten rave reviews around here. I bet it will there too.

Potluck Banana Pudding Fluff
Ingredients
- 1 (5.1-ounce) package vanilla instant pudding mix
- 1 1/2 cups milk
- 3 bananas
- 1 tablespoon lemon juice
- 1 (16-ounce) container frozen whipped topping (Cool Whip), thawed
- 1 (10-ounce) package miniature marshmallows
- 1 (11 to 12-ounce) box vanilla wafers
Instructions
- In a large bowl, whisk together the pudding mix and milk until combined. Set aside to thicken.
- Peel and slice the bananas. Place them in a medium bowl and toss with the lemon juice to prevent browning.
- Fold the whipped topping into the pudding. Add the bananas, marshmallows, and vanilla wafers. Fold together. Serve immediately or refrigerate for a a few hours if you prefer softer cookies.
Phyllis Provo says
Stacey, I have no doubt that you and your family, like the recipes you share here, are far from what most people would define as “average”. To me you are a standout. I love your blog, and I love your recipes. Some I try, others not. But they are always interesting to read, and I pore over them, and they inspire me to try different things. So here, from another “average” person, is my thank you. Thanks for all you do. I appreciate it very much, as do many other “average”, everyday heroes! And I am definitely going to try your banana pudding fluff! I will make my own pudding from scratch, because of the dietary requirements in my house, but I won’t stray much more from your “average” recipe!
Stacey says
Thanks so much, Phyllis! I sure hope you’ll enjoy!!
Susie says
Get behind me, Satan! I’m trying this tonight 🙂
Any child growing up in a loving, happy kitchen cannot fail to be *average*! Well done you.
Stacey says
Thanks so much, Susie!
Gloria Rhine says
Just found you hi from oklahoma.
Stacey says
Welcome!!
Aileen Searles says
Boy, that Jack. He is one smart kid you can be proud of! I love this. Here we are, as parents and grandparents, only wanting the best for our kids and we can obsess and read more into things than are actually there sometimes. So this banana pudding fluff is a great sigh of relief at the end!
Stacey says
You’re so sweet! Thank you!
Beeb says
I’m not sure when ‘average’ became such a dirty word. Guess what, Average is great….it’s like your son said, normal. And ain’t a thing in the world wrong with being normal!
Stacey says
I couldn’t agree more! 🙂
Cindy says
I like the concept but I don’t like recipes that use processed packaged food as ingredients. If it’s not from scratch it’s not for me.
Stacey says
You probably won’t find much around these parts that suits your fancy then. We like quick and easy around here. “If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. –Carl Sagan”
Tess says
OMG!! This is soooo yummy! We loved it. 🙂 I shared some w/my Mom and it was a big hit. She wants me to give her the recipe too. Thanks again for sharing it. Love your website and recipes.
Stacey says
Thanks, Tess! I’m so glad everyone enjoyed it!
Diane says
Thanks for another good and easy recipe, Stacey. I enjoy your recipes and the stories you share with us all. You and your wife are definitely doing a great job as parents with Jack. 😊
Stacey says
Thanks so much, Diane!!!
Elle says
I can’t wait to try this for a pot luck coming up! I may need to make two batches, one for them and one for my home. It looks delicious!
Stacey says
Hope you’ll enjoy!!
Jennifer MacKenzie says
The box calls for 2 cups milk, but your recipe is 1.5…. is that smaller amount for a reason??
Stacey says
Yes. You want it to be a bit thicker than regular pudding.
Sandy says
What about adding some crushed pineapple and coconut to your “fluff”? Love your sight!! Average is very, very good. Just ask any parent of a child with special needs.
Stacey says
I think that’s a great way to mix up the flavors!
Kim Hilt says
Love this! It was SO easy & SO tasty!! I have question: my husband ate a “cherry fluff” of some kind at a luncheon the other day & LOVED it. Since he is not big on desserts esp. “fluffs”, I thought I’d make it for him. However I can’t find a recipe- he said it was smoother/creamy & didn’t think it had mini marshmallows in it but was pinkish red & had small bits of cherry in it. I’m stumped! I’m NOT on Instagram & pretty computer iliiterate & Googled everything I know how & cannnot find a recipe! I know this is a long shot since you obviously are so famous & so busy!!!! But if you could point me in right direction or send recipe, I’d be forever grateful!!
Again, either way, THANK YOU for the banana fluff- it was amazing!!! Unique & my inlaws loved it!!! THANK YOU for your time & trouble & as always, keep putting out those wonderful recipes & helpful hints!! You are awesome!!!
Stacey says
Hi Kim! Thanks so much for your kind words! I’m going to reply to you via email. 🙂